Real Article

Our Next Hometown Hero?

If you have no interest in sports or football at all, or just simply despise the University of Delaware athletic teams, then I suggest you don’t read this article because it will cause you despair and drive you insane. But if you just love the Blue Hens, then just go ahead and read this article.
In downtown Newark, the University of Delaware’s head coach, K. C. Keeler, of the University’s football team, had an announcement to make. He made an announced that he had the largest recruiting class of his seven seasons with the Blue Hens with a total of twenty high school standouts signed to the NCAA (National College Athletic Association) National Letters of Intent for an athletic scholarship, for this upcoming semester this fall. Not only do the Blue Hens have twenty recruits waiting for an athletic scholarship, but the Keeler made a bit hit with the team’s newest quarterback.
Coach Keeler proudly announced that Pat Devlin, the top quarterback up at Penn State University (PSU) for the past two seasons and a former high school All-American out of Downingtown, Pennsylvania East High School, has transferred to the University of Delaware, and has already began classes. Devlin will take place in spring training (still being a Sophomore) with the Hens and has two seasons with the football team, in which he will most likely be the starting quarterback, beginning this fall.
Standing at six foot four, weighing at two hundred and twenty two pounds, and born on April 12, 1988 (age twenty), Pat Devlin was a Nittany Lion (Penn State’s mascot) until right after the 2008 Rose Bowl. Devlin decided that he would transfer to the University of Delaware to continue his college football career.
In his 2008 season with the Nittany Lions, he was rated as a quarterback as a 163.31, (they rate a quarterback by how many touchdowns, yards, interceptions, sacks, etc. they had that season) four touchdowns, and a total of for hundred and fifty-nine yards that season.
If you’re bad at math, you might have a little bit of trouble with this: What do you get when add a good offense plus a good defense plus a good kicking team plus a star quarterback from Penn State? A kicking butt Blue Hens football team! Let’s hope that we have a shot of the championship with our new star quarterback!

What Does are Future Hold?

Are you feeling down upset depressed to the most likely cause is lack of football in your T.V diet. Do not fret because I have the thing for you... The fate of the next season, who is being dropped, picked up and of course who are these new college kids we hear so much about. First of all I’d like to introduce Chris Wells. Straight from Ohio State. Currently in his college records during 2007 he had 576 yards 7 scores all on 104 carries as a backup running back. When He became first string running back in 2007 he got 1609 yards 15 scores on 274 carries. Then in 2008 he had 1197 yards and 8 touchdowns on the 207 carries he received in the just ten games. According to experts Chris Wells will definitely be a first round pick. His vision is impeccable ESPN.com states he rarely ever misses a hole. He has no off field problems is an amazing combination of height and speed his durability is amazing and frankly he has a crazy last minute burst. Next up is Knowshon Moreno another shoe in for the first round. In his first thirteen games in 2006 he had 248 carries 1,334 yards and 14 scores. In 2007 he had 1334 yards 14 scores and 248 carries. Finally in 2008 he had 1400 yards 16 scores and 250 carries. Knowshon is not one to be dancing behind the line he go’s straight for the first down marker and doesn’t stop till he gets there he is well built but is going to need to gain weight when he gets drafted and is a natural born leader. Top on the list though is not a running back but a wide receiver Michael Crabtree from Texas Tech. Let’s put it this way his worst season consists of a 50 yard kickoff return, 18 touchdowns, and 1135 yards and through that season he played through an injured ankle. That’s a first round draft pick if I ever did see one. In other news the ravens might rob Anquan Boldin from the Cardinals, and Ray Lewis to Dallas? Ray Lewis is predicted not to move but who knows. Deangelo Hall might get drafted to the Raiders if he’s not going back to the Redskins and does anyone really know if Plaxico Burress is coming back? 2009 is going to prove to be quite a season.

SUPER BOWL HOAX

The super bowl a joyful time for family gatherings, rooting for your favorite team, and the amazing commercials. But the truth that the NFL has been hiding from us for years… the super bowl is fixed. Every year all the coaches get together in the preseason and decide who will win the super bowl. Drastic? Yes, yes it is but they are the ones who decide who’s going to walk home with a ring. Coach of the Steelers Mike Tomlin states “hey you got to make friends in this league.” Mike Tomlin was selected to win super bowl 43. One third of the super bowl decision is random the second third is voting and the third and most important is players. You can’t fake a good super bowl if a team with bad player’s wins that just doesn’t make sense so they decide which team has the best players which will help them get chosen for the super bowl. To add to the fact that the NFL picks the teams they also chose interceptions, touchdowns, turnovers, and even fourth down conversions. So yes if you are a Steelers fan the one hundred yard interception for a touchdown was planned well as far as we know. You see some times players improvise like the Steelers safety that was an accident but since the Steelers were chosen to win they pulled it out somehow. The fact that the Steelers have 6 super bowl rings is half luck and half skill considering that the NFL announced that they started planning super bowls in1995. The biggest news held a secret from American society until now.

April Fools Article

Local Delawarean Makes the M.L.B.
By: Maddy HilL

Bradley Johnson, was the M.V.P. (Most Valuable Player) of baseball, in the NCAA college league. Bradley attended the University of Delaware as a senior last year, and was the starting pitcher for the Blue Hens baseball team. About a week ago, Bradley was drafted by the St. Louis Cardinals as their new starting pitcher. You might think that Brad is just your typical pitcher, but he isn’t.

Twenty-six year old Bradley Johnson, can pitch over one hundred and seven miles per hour. That’s really fast compared to other pitchers that can pitch at a maximum of one hundred and one miles per hour. To those of you who don’t know that much about baseball, when there is a left handed pitcher pitching against a right handed batter, the pitcher has more of an advantage striking the batter out. But if the batter was also a left handed, the same as the pitcher, the batter has more of an advantage to hit the ball. Well, Johnson can pitch left handed and right handed. So any time a right handed batter comes up, he pitches left handed, and any time a right handed batter comes up, he pitches left handed. If Bradley has a healthy and successful career, he will most likely be voted in to the Major League Baseball’s Hall of Fame, voted Rookie of the Year, Pitcher of the Year, and maybe even Athlete of the Year.

So, your probably thinking that this is just a fluke, or this is impossible. I’ve heard of a ambidextrous writer, but never a baseball pitcher. Well, when you thought this article could get any nuttier, I would like to take the time and just say……..
APRIL’S FOOLS!!!!!!!